Wicked Retahded

I can't imagine that you are bored enough to watch this entire 15 minute video of Michelle Bachman being an idiot, but all you need to know is that she attributes her becoming a Republican to Gore Vidal's novel (repeat: novel)Burr. Here's how she explains it:

I have to share a secret with you...I was a democrat when I grew up because in Minnesota they stamped it on your birth certificate. I didn't realize, until I went off to college one day--and this is the honest to god truth--I went off to college and I was reading this snotty novel, it was written by Gore Vidal, and I was like a junior in college...yeah, I think I was a junior in college and he was going after our founders. And he was mocking them. He was making fun out of them. I was a reasonable, fair-minded democrat. And another secret you need to know, my husband and I met in college--we worked on Jimmy Carter's campaign. [Crowd gasps!]...

And as a reasonable, decent, fair-minded person who happened to be a Democrat, I thought, 'You know what? What he's writing about, this mocking of people that I revere, and the country that I love, and that I would lay my life down to defend -- just like every one of you in this room would, and as many of you in this room have when you wore the uniform of this great country -- I knew that that was not representative of my country.

And at that point I put the book down and I laughed. I was riding a train. I looked out the window and I said, 'You know what? I think I must be a Republican. I don't think I'm a Democrat.'

Skip to 5:45 mark if you wanna hear it in her nasally and annoying accent yourself.

Now, I haven't read Gore Vidal's novel Burr. Nor have I read Gregory Maguire's novel Wicked--but I wasn't fortunate enough to see a musical version of the latter. And the thing is they both do this thing where they take a story and they turn it around and they present it from the bad guy's perspective, thus imparting a sense of empathy for them. Clearly Michelle Bachman wasn't an English major. Nevertheless, you'd think she'd know the difference between a "snotty novel" that retells an historical event from the antagonist perspective, and a fucking work of non-fiction.

Texas State 2012-2013 Budget As Pitiful As My Own

Comptroller Susan Combs probably opted to text Rick Perry instead of calling him directly when she was done crunching numbers and determined that Texas needs $99b for 2012/13 but only has $72b to work with. Governor Good Hair has vowed not to tap into the Rainy Day Fund (unless it's for one of those leather recliners with the built in cup holders or flat screen for the Governor's Mansion, presumably), but even if he did cave to pressure to do so, the fund is just a 1/3 of the $27b shortfall. (http://www.economist.com/node/18442083)

Cue the sound you hear on The Price Is Right when The Price Is Wrong.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you where Republican Legislators have decided to cut, but just in case you're hungover or haven't had your coffee yet--it's schools and medicaid and other such useless, tax-leeching programs and institutions.

There is a silver lining, though. Last month in Rick Perry's State of the State address he announced that LegalZoom will be moving from California to Texas!


(Please Note: Image one of top 10 google results for legalzoom. I do not think it's Robert Shapiro. I mean, I'm sure it's not. Probably.)

Aside from slashing state funding to schools and healthcare, apparently Republicans in Austin also plan to take more and give less to Texas cities--as evidenced by this pissy letter drafted and signed the mayors of Dallas, Fort Worth and Arlington urging Perry to go ahead and sleep on that idea.

Letter to Gov. Perry

The Cheese Stands Alone

Recently Republican Representative Sean Duffy from Wisconsin was asked by one of his constituents (an out of work builder who's now driving a bus and married to a teacher) if he would be willing to cut his own salary. I love this question so much. The state is broke and so lawmakers decide unions needs to be dismantled and teachers and other public workers need to take pay-cuts. Apparently there are no mirrors in the Wisconsin State Capitol Building.

But all that is beside the point, the reason this exchange made any sort of echo on the interwebs is because of Duffy's response: "blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda I HAVE SIX KIDS, gab, gab, I USED TO DRIVE A MINI VAN, bloat bloat, I HAVE A BUNCH OF STUDENT LOANS, yap yap, I STRUGGLE TO MAKE ENDS MEET, feeling yer pain, MY SALARY IS $174,OOO A YEAR..."

Gulp.

This guy...I don't get him. I guess that's what you call "fiscal responsibility," six kids and a mountain of debt on what is more than four times the average American Worker's salary.

I shouldn't go without mentioning that after rambling on for some time (complaining about how much more he pays for healthcare now than he did at his old job) Duffy finally suggested that he would be okay with a big, fat 5% pay cut.

Texas Voter ID(iocy) Bill

So despite the fact that the last time Texas had a Democratic Governor (who, by the way, couldn't lose after her opponent remarked that rape was akin to bad weather and the best approach was to "lie down and wait" for the storm to pass), Texas Republican lawmakers are concerned about voter fraud and have drafted a bill proposing all Texas voters present a photo ID at the polls before casting a ballot. Well, all except those Texas voters who typically vote Republican--the elderly and gun owners. All the rest of us Texans could potentially be...GASP! Democrats. And we really want to discourage democrats from voting--we may end up with free abortions and legal marriage between siblings or something.

Well, All Glory Be To He Who Prefers Republicans, this past March 24th the bill passed. Nevermind that this bill may cost taxpayers up to $14 million, Republicans are fiscally conservative remember? I'm sure they wouldn't have drafter or passed it if it wasn't really important. I mean, let's say that you have a buddy who lives in Texas illegally, or who is forbidded from voting due to a criminal past--you can't just drive them up to the polls with you and say "Vote Democrat, OK?" That would be cheating. Every vote counts and each ballot cast should be submitted in person by someone with a legitimate photo ID. I mean, that's only fair.

Well, I mean, unless you were one of the Republican Congresspersons who wanted this bill to pass so bad that they cast "Yes" votes for other lawmakers not present on that day. That's different. Anybody can see that.

One of Heaven's Heroes

Recently a Walgreens Pharmacist in Idaho refused to fill a prescription for Methergine--a drug prescribed to stop severe uterine bleeding caused by either childbirth or abortion. This astute soldier in God's Army suspected that since the nurse calling in the prescription was calling from a Planned Parenthood the drug was, in this instance, needed for a woman who was bleeding to death as a result of an abortion. This brave and courageous pharmacist summoned the Strength of Yahweh and shouted "Not on MY watch!" It's righteousness like this that really puts a smile on the face and a spring in the step our or Lord and Savior.

source

Teach Them Well and Let Them Lead the Way

Corbett budget slashed education; advances prisons

Show them all the beauty they possess inside...


It's everybody's fault, except for Rick Perry's

Give them a sense of pride to make it easier;

Governor Scott's Budget Plan to cut $3 Billion in Education

Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be.

Wis.Governor: Ax $900 million from education

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadow...

Kansas Gov to cut $56.5M from current budget after legislative negotiations break down

If I fail; if I succeed, at least I live as I believe

Leg. Republicans: $411 million cut to higher ed

Because the greatest love of all is happening to me.

PUBLIC EDUCATION EXPENDITURES AS PERCENTAGE OF GNI:

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Seek and Destroy

Since the Grand Old Party (emphasis on old) has realized that it cannot win elections on the issues, it's decided the best plan of action now is to eliminate any person or group who would potentially vote Democratic from the process entirely.

Unions/Union Member

College Students

Damn Libs and Hippies who listen to NPR

Minorities, Senior Citizens, Rural Dwellers